In the last week, my husband and I, although he is far away, have been faced with the ultimate decision. To stay in or not to stay in? While he still has approximately 3 years in, we have started to contemplate our options.
This is a harder decision than I would have thought. Surprisingly we are on completely different sides of the fence, and they aren't the sides you would think. He wants out, especially right now. He isn't liking carrier life, or being stationed overseas. No one likes deployment, that is not surprising, but he is getting fed up with being away from home.
I of course want him here more than anything, but when I consider the idea in the long run, I have mixed feelings. The military has provided us with great stability and benefits that you do not see often in other careers. I don't like being away from him, but at the same time I like knowing that we will be supported and almost always know where we stand. I am in no way opposed to the idea of moving around the world with my husband! It sounds like fun to me.
I don't know if this is something that a lot of families struggle with because i've only been living in this world for about 2 years. This is all new to me. I don't want us to make the wrong decision because I am scared about what the real world may bring...but then again we could be living in the real thing right now. We might be living in a world that no one else could even begin to understand...
I'm not looking for answers, just looking to find some people who understand where i'm coming from.
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2 comments:
There are a lot of us who understand. It's one of the toughest decisions to make but it is important to make it together, especially if the answer is to stay in. We didn't stay active duty and Sgt. wishes we had but by the time we got to that point, we weren't in a position to make that big of a change to go back active duty, which is where the reserves comes in to play for us. It's his second re-enlistment since 9/11 and the second was for 6 after coming back from Iraq.
Hang in there sister...it will all work out and you all will make the best decision.
Casey, First of all, I aplologize for taking so long to get back to you.... Sorry. My first thoughts are: kudos for starting the conversations. It is hard to discuss these things, but even harder on couples to make decisions without discussing them.
Second, I think that nomatter what, it's both of your decision, but he is the one out there, the one away, and that really matters.
The other thing is, it is a huge adjustment getting out. All of that bootcamp training to work as a team, be a part of a team and all the living arrangements suddenly are gone and for many, it feels like the rug is pulled out from under folks. That's where planning comes in. Don't make your decision about leaving the military, make it about what you want in the next 10-20 years. If it is something else, start setting goals and figure out how to reach them. Find out what kind of support is out there, and find out what transition help is out there.
The best way to go through change is to have a plan and an open mind. You'll be ok nomatter what because you have each other! J
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